I wasn’t a Grey’s Anatomy fan until years after it was semi-cool to be. My sophomore year in college, I discovered the spin-off Private Practice starring Kate Walsh and became a bigger fan of that than Grey’s. Recently, I decided to go through all of the episodes again.
There’s one episode where Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh’s character) tells her therapist how she had to practice exercising her hope muscle in order to let herself move forward with some things in her life.
The idea stuck with me, because I realized that maybe that’s a muscle that I could be exercising a little more too.
Things have been brewing in my personal life for a while now, and it’s one of those situations that is both really hurtful but also really exciting. One of those letting-go-to-bring-something-else-in situations, where I can see the past in the rearview mirror and the outline of what’s to come, but I can’t see the full picture.
They’re hard situations at times.
They give me butterflies because it means that the doors of possibility open even wider.
As Marianne Williamson says, the Universe is course-correcting, and when we experience lack, the Universe self-programs to fix it.
Now, my desire isn’t to challenge religious beliefs, but the idea here is hopeful and one that is concurrent with many religions. The idea here is that when gaps or holes arise in our lives, something will come along to fill it. It’s kind of like digging a hole in the sand on the beach until a wave comes seconds later to wipe it clean.
Even if you feel like you’re in a hole, there’s always a chance for a fresh start. It’s just the way the world works. Things change. This world is dynamic, and that’s a blessing when we let it be.
Recently, I’ve struggled with letting go. A really important relationship in my life has come to a close, at least for now, and it’s quite painful.
This isn’t the first time it’s happened and it won’t be the last. We all experience the loss of important relationships during certain times of our lives, but I know that when I’ve allowed myself to let go gracefully, it hurts a lot less, and new people have fairly quickly stepped into my life to help usher in a new chapter.
This time, I didn’t let go so gracefully. I got tangled in the thorns of anger and resentment, wanting things to be different, wanting the other person to be different, wondering what it was about me that made this person act the way they did.
Agreement # 2: Don’t take anything personally.
“The Law of Divine Compensation gives us the assurance that the universe will simply create a new route.”
Hope and faith are like muscles. Use them or lose them.
The beauty and the beast of this life is that whatever others is do is a result of their own thinking. It means that you no longer have to blame yourself for other people’s shortcomings (or perceived shortcomings) or anything they’ve done that has hurt you. It also means that sometimes, as hard as it is, it’s important to realize when it’s time to let go.
It doesn’t have to be a relationship. It could be a job, a commitment, a dream or a goal. Sometimes letting go of one idea of how our life should work out is the best thing to bring in another.
Don’t forget to hope.
Hope isn’t for suckers. Hope is not just for hippies. It’s not just for the whimsical, non-intellectually inclined, Ivory-tower avoiders. I used to think it was. I used to think hoping was for softies, but maybe being soft isn’t always a bad thing.
Hope allows us to let go gracefully, even when it hurts.
Hope helps us call in the new projects, people, and situations that can move our life forward to where we want it to go.
Hope is what keeps us going until the stuff we’ve been waiting for actually happens.
So recognize that sometimes falling-aparts are more of a cosmic restructuring.
Sometimes letting go of one thing will bring you closer to something else that you want and need a little more.
Sometimes needing to let go isn’t such a bad thing after all.