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Letting Go Gracefully

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I wasn’t a Grey’s Anatomy fan until years after it was semi-cool to be.  My sophomore year in college, I discovered the spin-off Private Practice starring Kate Walsh and became a bigger fan of that than Grey’s.  Recently, I decided to go through all of the episodes again.

There’s one episode where Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh’s character) tells her therapist how she had to practice exercising her hope muscle in order to let herself move forward with some things in her life.

The idea stuck with me, because I realized that maybe that’s a muscle that I could be exercising a little more too.

Things have been brewing in my personal life for a while now, and it’s one of those situations that is both really hurtful but also really exciting.  One of those letting-go-to-bring-something-else-in situations, where I can see the past in the rearview mirror and the outline of what’s to come, but I can’t see the full picture.

They’re hard situations at times.

They hurt.

They give me butterflies because it means that the doors of possibility open even wider.

As Marianne Williamson says, the Universe is course-correcting, and when we experience lack, the Universe self-programs to fix it.

Now, my desire isn’t to challenge religious beliefs, but the idea here is hopeful and one that is concurrent with many religions.  The idea here is that when gaps or holes arise in our lives, something will come along to fill it.  It’s kind of like digging a hole in the sand on the beach until a wave comes seconds later to wipe it clean.

Even if you feel like you’re in a hole, there’s always a chance for a fresh start.  It’s just the way the world works. Things change.  This world is dynamic, and that’s a blessing when we let it be.

Recently, I’ve struggled with letting go.  A really important relationship in my life has come to a close, at least for now, and it’s quite painful.

This isn’t the first time it’s happened and it won’t be the last.  We all experience the loss of important relationships during certain times of our lives, but I know that when I’ve allowed myself to let go gracefully, it hurts a lot less, and new people have fairly quickly stepped into my life to help usher in a new chapter.

This time, I didn’t let go so gracefully.  I got tangled in the thorns of anger and resentment, wanting things to be different, wanting the other person to be different, wondering what it was about me that made this person act the way they did.

Agreement # 2: Don’t take anything personally. 

“The Law of Divine Compensation gives us the assurance that the universe will simply create a new route.” 

Hope and faith are like muscles.  Use them or lose them. 

The beauty and the beast of this life is that whatever others is do is a result of their own thinking.  It means that you no longer have to blame yourself for other people’s shortcomings (or perceived shortcomings) or anything they’ve done that has hurt you.  It also means that sometimes, as hard as it is, it’s important to realize when it’s time to let go.

It doesn’t have to be a relationship.  It could be a job, a commitment, a dream or a goal. Sometimes letting go of one idea of how our life should work out is the best thing to bring in another.

Don’t forget to hope.

Hope isn’t for suckers. Hope is not just for hippies.  It’s not just for the whimsical, non-intellectually inclined, Ivory-tower avoiders.  I used to think it was.  I used to think hoping was for softies, but maybe being soft isn’t always a bad thing.

Hope allows us to let go gracefully, even when it hurts.

Hope helps us call in the new projects, people, and situations that can move our life forward to where we want it to go.

Hope is what keeps us going until the stuff we’ve been waiting for actually happens.

So recognize that sometimes falling-aparts are more of a cosmic restructuring.

Sometimes letting go of one thing will bring you closer to something else that you want and need a little more.

Sometimes needing to let go isn’t such a bad thing after all.

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{ 6 comments… add one }

  • Sam Brown April 23, 2014, 8:11 pm

    Such a great post – if hope is for softies everyone should be a softie haha

    And I need to get on the Private Practice bandwagon. I know so many people who like it more than Grey’s!

    Sam xx
    Sam Brown recently posted…Smart Money Management: Baby StepsMy Profile

    • Alex April 24, 2014, 4:39 pm

      Double agreed! :) If you’re an Addison fan, you will promptly forget about Grey’s ;)

  • Mitchell April 24, 2014, 5:15 pm

    I’m paraphrasing here, but when Caroline Myss was asked to define what she meant by spirit or soul, she said it is the hopeful part of you.

    That voice in you that responds when you start wondering “How am I going to get through this? Am I going to be okay?”, your spirit is that part of you that says, ‘You will make it through this’.

    So I guess exercising your hope muscle is going to allow your spirit/soul to shine brighter :)

    • Alex April 25, 2014, 6:46 pm

      That’s so beautiful. Thank you so much for this comment, Mitchell! I hope that my spirit does shine a little brighter. Who couldn’t use some more soul glow? :)

  • Jan @ Sprouts n Squats April 26, 2014, 1:39 am

    I so often have to remember that agreement. What people do and say has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Easier to say than to always be able to 100% believe.

    You are very strong and you will get through this. This post to me sounds like you’ve already started to move through it and out the other side.

    Relationships whatever they are to you whether a friend or more leaving your life can always be a tough thing to deal with. Even if you know your life is better without them or even at the time if you don’t want to let go.

    Hope you already know that it goes without saying I’m always here for you if you need anything. Feel free to email me <3
    Jan @ Sprouts n Squats recently posted…Friday FavouritesMy Profile

    • Alex April 27, 2014, 8:28 am

      Thank you, Jan <3 I really appreciate that. I’m definitely moving through it and there’s a lot of exciting stuff happening in place of what I’m letting go of. I’ll be sure to share that good stuff too when the time is right :)

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